"To sleep is an act of faith."

[andthethrill]

Mitch could never hope to stay awake as long as J is able to. He tried a few times, back before they knew each other too well -- back when he still didn't trust the blond not to do something to him while he slept -- and failed.

Now, he's back to a similar level of wariness. But he doesn't try, these three months and a lifetime later, to stay up again. Instead, when sleep starts to tug at him, he gets off at the next exit, and checks them in at the cheapest nearby hotel. If J protests the pause in their journey, he promises that they'll get going again first thing in the morning. And he gets ready for bed, and he sleeps.

He told J, when they first met, that he was a light sleeper. Hopefully, he'll be light enough.

Comments

[a-bad-joke.livejournal.com]

The feeling has a less relaxing quality when you don't trust it yet. It's warm and soft and he feels more tired than he usually allows himself to be. The idea of falling asleep worries him, though.

When Mitch is pinning his hands, J feels sure he's going to be shaken out of this state and maybe they'll be fighting again...but Mitch is gentle and just lays with him. It's warm. It's like being pinned down or restrained, but...not. It feels strange but also an unfamiliar sort of safe. J lets out a frustrated sigh, seeing the knife is kept out of reach by Mitch's other hand. A soft noise between a whine and a comfortable hum sounds in his throat and, god help him, J thinks he could actually sleep... He just still doesn't know if he wants to. Another little whine and he settles into it. He relents to being 'snuggled' for now. Maybe sleep is ok...just for now. Just like this.

[andthethrill.livejournal.com]

He was going to. It's why he took J's hand. All he'd have to do is shift his grip a little bit, grab one finger and pull back.

Snap.

He still wants to. J turned on him, tried to hurt him, and he needs to be taught that there's consequences for that. And even if it wouldn't keep J from doing it again, it would make him feel better. But one violent act would beget another, start the fighting again, and he's comfortable. They both are. A threat seems just as good.

"If you do that again, I'll break your fingers," he mutters, squeezing J's hand, then relaxing his grip. Closing his eyes.

[a-bad-joke.livejournal.com]

The threat and the little squeeze to make it real somehow help put J the rest of the way at ease. Mitch could hurt him --badly-- or even kill him, if he wanted to. He could turn on him any moment, but he doesn't and it seems like he won't. The subtle uncertainty --that possibility that he could be wrong and that Mitch could take him down one day-- makes the safety of being with the boy more understandable. It isn't complete. There's still risk. ... And Mitch won't let him lose control or go to pieces. He'll hold him down or break him before things go too far. It's frustrating, but also sort of gratifying.

J relaxes with a soft smile and squeezes Mitch's hand back.
"Ok. Only one hand, though, or...ah...you'd have to finish on your own."
It's an acceptance of the rules being laid down, as well as a subtle agreement to the strange developments in their relationship. He lowers his head closer to Mitch and lets himself start to drift off.

He mumbles and mutters in his sleep and curls up more tightly with Mitch. It's not so terrible to get some rest...

[andthethrill.livejournal.com]

He raises his head, for just a few seconds, looking J over. Checking on him. But the cuts, none of the cuts he gave him are still bleeding, and though the deepest one on his shoulder looks pretty rough, he can deal with it in the morning, he thinks, without too much more damage.

He falls back on the pillow with a quiet grunt. "Mmm."

J's on his way to a good night's rest for the second time in as many days. More sleep, total, than he's probably had in the two weeks previous. God only knows what that will do for him. Or if it becomes a habit.

Mitch closes his eyes too, and surrenders himself, J'd mutterings familiar and comfortable as he slips under. Tomorrow... tomorrow is another day. And they'll just have to take it as such. See where it leads them.